My Top 5 Beauty Products of 2012…So Far!

1. Product: Laura Mercier Velour Puff

Why it’s amazing: MACHINE washable Puff!  Just throw this puff in the washer with your laundry and it comes out just like new!  Plus, if you use the rolling technique Laura Mercier sales people tell you about, your makeup does look great all day!  Another great aspect of this puff is that it is big enough to powder larger portions of the face at one time

Downside: Too big to fit into a regular size compact, so its strength is it’s weakness (I am making it sound like a superhero or something).

Cost: $12 (sephora.com or Nordstrom.com)

 

2. Product: Naked 2 Palette

Why it’s amazing: 12 neutral eye shadows that are highly pigmented for $50.  That works out to just a little bit more than $4/color.  That’s a great value!  I was totally a skeptic when I bought the first Naked palette for a wedding I was in last year, but the versatility of the colors won me over!  The neutrals are not boring like I first thought they would be, and they are flattering…even on darker skin!

Downside: Not a lot of mattes.

Cost: $50 (sephora.com)

 

3. Product: Beauty Blender Sponge

Why it’s amazing:  It is billed as a sponge that will help your foundation/concealer go on seamlessly…and it totally does that!  I got one of the lower priced dupes, and I hated it!  The Beauty Blender is squishier, larger, and the egg-shape is better than the others, which have a more of an hourglass with a pointy top shape.

Downside: COST!!!  This “sponge” costs $19.99/each.  I bought the 2-pack which was $24.99, somehow spending $5 more, but have reducing the cost per Beauty Blender to $12.50 each made it easier for me to deal with!!!

Cost: $19.99/each or $24.99/2-pack (sephora.com)

 

4. Product: Lash Stash

Why it’s amazing: There are 10 mascaras, 8 minis and 2 full sized mascaras.  The brushes on all the minis are the same size as the brushes on their regular sized counterparts, so you get to try out a bunch of different mascaras to find a new favorite or just keep it interesting!  Plus every year Sephora comes out with a new Last Stash.  So if you missed 2011’s…it will be back!

Downside: Only available during the holidays/until Sephora sells out of their stock.  Keep checking the Sephora website if you can’t find it, sometimes they pull the Lash Stash from the website and then put it back up after a couple of days.

Cost: $49.99 full price (before Christmas) or $32.00 after Christmas. (sephora.com)

 

5. Product: Seche Vite

Why it’s amazing: Super fast drying, super shiny nail polish topcoat.  I picked this up from my local Sally’s Beauty Supply, thinking I was crazy for plopping down $7.99 for a topcoat, but it was totally worth it.  I haven’t once had the problem of falling asleep after doing my nails, thinking they were perfectly dry only to find sheet prints in my nail varnish when I woke up.

Downside: Spendier than I would like, however Sally’s Beauty Supply often has promotions with this product so you get a free base coat or free color polish with purchase.

Cost: $7.99 (sallybeauty.com)

 

 

NAKED 2 Palette + Milani Liquid Eye = Affordable Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil

This post is a follow up to a rave I did on how great Milani’s eyeliner is with the Urban Decay Naked Palette/aka the eyeshadow palette that spawned a million YouTube videos!  The rest of this post is a follow up to that post, continue reading…below…;)

Last year I got the NAKED palette from Urban Decay, and fell in love with neutrals.  This year I got the NAKED 2 palette from Urban Decay, and fell in love with neutrals again!

For those of you who have missed the hullabaloo, Urban Decay has now released two “neutral” palettes.   Both have 12 gorgeous colors ranging from matte to shimmer to sparkle.    The original, NAKED palette first came with a brown/black duo eyeliner as well as a mini-primer potion.  Somewhere along the way the powers that be at Urban Decay took the eyeliner out and replaced it with a brush.  Following up on the NAKED palette success is the NAKED 2 palette that comes with a mini lip gloss.  Both of the palettes cost $50 each, and I think they are well worth the money if you are a makeup lover like me…however…and there is a big HOWEVER coming, once you have plunked down $50 for a palette of eye shadow the last thing you want to do is spend another $19 each on black and brown long lasting eyeliners from Urban Decay!

As I mentioned before in my rave of Milani’s Liquif’Eye eyeliner, http://wp.me/pXLyy-2V, they are a great, affordable ($5.50 at Target), substitute for the Urban Decay eyeliner pencils!   Milani Cosmetics recently changed the name of these pencils to Liquid Eye, so look for that instead of Liquif’Eye, but they are really so great!  Milani’s Liquid Eye pencils in brown, black, and gold work so well with the NAKED and NAKED 2 palette.  Milani’s gold Liquid Eye pencil looks like perfection with the NAKED 2 palette.  I have used it with a couple of different looks, and I think it was made with the NAKED palettes in mind!

My local Target had the Milani gold Liquid Eye pencils on clearance for $1.78, I don’t know if they are getting rid of the color completely or just putting them on clearance because Milani changed the name of the pencils, but swing by your local Target or Drugstore and give it a whirl!

I will post a couple of different looks when I get a chance…!

And here is the link to Milani’s website so you can see what the pencils look like:

http://www.milanicosmetics.com/p-74-liquid-eye-liquid-like-metallic-eye-liner-pencil.aspx

 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The Reunion Part 3, A Tale of Two Kims

 

This year my deep and abiding faithfulness and devotion to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was rewarded with bitchy fights, annoying additions (hello, Pam/Dana), and oddly, a feeling of dissatisfaction.

As the season that wouldn’t end finally wrapped up tonight, I was watched with rapt attention at the gym while Kim Richards spoke about her issues with addiction.  The whole time Kim spoke, I couldn’t get out of my mind that she seemed drugged, and her words seemed so unclear and fuzzy as she spoke.  Was this because I was listening to the show through semi-crappy headphones at the gym?  Did Kim seem, even as she described her addiction and healing process, not completely “with it” to anyone else?  But before we go forward let’s go back to the beginning of the show.

To sum it up, briefly, there was some talk by Taylor more about how she was abused.  Then Dana/Pam came on the show talked about how Brandi mistreated everyone else at the party and about how she is a brown-noser and proud of it thank you very much.  The husbands of the Beverly Hills Housewives were brought out and we got a fun little interlude from Ken who said, “Lisa doesn’t need to go to a BJ party”, that was the sweetest, not really for company, compliment ever!

After that sexy fun time on the gorgeous set was over, it was a one-on-one with Andy and Kim.  Kim admitted to being an alcoholic, I say good for Kim, but I still wonder is that her only problem?  I really feel like Kim had other issues besides just alcohol.  With Andy’s prompting Kim admitted that she owed Brandi an apology and that Brandi had hurt her (Kim’s) family beyond reason.  This is what I hate about having Andy, the boss of these women, be the moderator, he didn’t ask the basic follow up question, “what about Brandi’s family?  Don’t you think they were hurt to see the way she was treated by you and Kyle?  Do you think her family was hurt when you called her a slut pig?” It really struck me that at the end of the day Kim and Kyle both refused to acknowledge that they were unkind, rude, and mean to Brandi.  For every action, there is an equal an opposite reaction, Richards Sisters.

Kim seemed genuinely distressed while talking about her erratic behavior during the season, and the watching it, she seemed even more distressed.  I sincerely think she was upset by what she was seeing.  I was surprised that even now, seeing the further damage that RHOBH has caused Kim, Kyle couldn’t say that maybe it wasn’t the best idea for Kim to be on the show.  Instead she can point her finger at Brandi for outing a “secret”, I don’t know how much of a secret it really was, but she can’t look to herself as a potential source of harm as well.

Like Camille who was a completely different person last season than she was this season, we got to hear that we didn’t see the “real Kim” this season.  Kyle felt like the real Kim was slipping away into Kim’s addiction, and Kim didn’t see the real Kim on TV when she watched herself, except for in a couple of early episodes.  However, I felt that Kim was erratic and weird last season too.  Not quite so bad as this season, but she seemed like she wasn’t even keel.  So what we have here is a tale of two Kims.  Which is the real Kim?  Will the real slim Kimmy please stand up?!  LOL!

Andy tried to end a rather depressing interview with Kim and Kyle and cap of a dramatic season on a high note, but I don’t think he quite succeeded.  As I type this I am looking at a website that is questioning the time line of events and the ever shifting stories of abuse that Taylor spouts.  In all honesty I think that Bravo needs to have “Guest Moderators” for the reunion shows along with Andy.  They need to be people that are willing to ask the tough in depth questions.  Maybe they should be those superfans that know every detail about every housewife.  I hear that WWHL is going to be on 5 nights a week so Bravo can make it a game, where people in contention for the guest moderator position can battle it out with other superfans to see who gets to guest moderate with Andy!  But something has to give because nothing gets resolved or properly asked and answered on these reunions!

So I guess I will wrap up my final thoughts on this season with the questions/thoughts I still have about the goings on in Beverly Hills this season:

1.     - How much attention does Kyle really need?  Brandi would have been crucified for doing the splits that many times.
2.     - I might be weird, but I don’t think Brandi looked particularly amazing in a bikini!  I think Camille looked MUCH better!  Brandi looked amazing in almost every other outfit the entire season, just not so much in that bikini.
3.     - Why does almost every other city with a Housewives franchise have women who are attempting to lose weight, and only Beverly Hills has the problem of women who are just too thin and friends want to force feed them?!  LOL!
4.     - What is the real reason Taylor changed her name?  Was it because she was a “con-man” with Russell?
5.     - What is the real story behind Taylor’s “out of place jaw”?
6.     - What is the real story behind Taylor’s orbital floor blow out?
7.     - If you were to ask me a few weeks ago I don’t think I would have agreed that Taylor was abused, but now I do, I think Taylor was abused.  I think she was in a mutually abusive relationship with her husband.  No one should ever be hurt in a relationship physically or verbally.  But I doubt the veracity of a number of Taylor’s stories, as the explanations she herself has provided do not add up and have changed not only about the abuse but things like her name change, her daughter’s godparents, etc.  The unfortunate thing is that Taylor put her life out there in reality TV and that is like asking the world to put your life under the microscope, so of course your life is going to be examined once you put it between glass plates and invite millions of strangers to look at it.
8.    - How to have Pandy’s gorgeous wedding without Pandy’s gorgeous budget someday.
9.    - Who is the real Camille G?  Camille from season 1 or Camille from season 2?

10  - Why Adrienne doesn’t hire a stylist, like yesterday, paging Bravolebrity Rachel Zoe.

11   - Why did Kyle say to Brandi in the reunion that she knew accusations of Kim being on Crystal Meth would follow Kim.  I mean according to Kyle’s own questioning after the party she thought Crystal Meth was something that went in a hybrid car.

12   - Does Taylor regret the lavish birthday party she threw now considering the financial mess she appears to be in?

13   - Does Brandi think Leann Rhimes is trying to look like her?!

14   - Does Lisa really like Adrienne, because it seemed like they couldn’t stand each other.

15   - Is Adrienne’s mole near her eye real?!

I am looking forward to a new season of Beverly Hills where it is a return to the frivolous drama we have come to expect and love.  This real life drama was a bit too much this season!

 

With Family Like This Who Needs Enemies?

Everyone has his or her share of family drama, but I feel like I have had the opportunity to witness a true student of Machiavelli at work during my life.  The student?  My Aunt.  The person she is constantly trying to control?  My Dad.  My whole life, I have felt that my Aunt didn’t like me.  Why did I feel that way?  Why did Christmas vacations in junior high and high school turn into a yearly repertoire of me just wanting to scream “CALL ME FAT AND GET IT OVER WITH”?  Because my Aunt, my Dad’s bitch ass sister, has been on a lifelong course to get my Dad to be her faithful lapdog.

Why my Aunt had this weird and unswerving interest in my Dad, to the point where at times I felt that she was jealous of the place my mom and I held in my Dad’s affections, I have no clue.  But in my biased and completely prejudiced opinion she is trash of the highest order.  Over the years she has constantly used my Dad for rides, help with household repairs, as a sounding board for her retarded ideas, help with her children, so on, so forth, ad infinitum.  While soliciting my Dad’s help on the one hand on other hand she was busy telling anyone who would listen about how my Dad wronged her, and basically what a piece of crap my Dad was.  But today was a new low.

Today marked day 5 after we heard that my cousin, my Aunt’s son, was going to be deported.  To break it down storybook style, my cousin recently spent 5 years of a 7-year sentence at the State penitentiary.  My cousin went away for armed robbery.  I mean seriously if you are going to go to jail, at least go to jail for a white color crime so you have a chance of going to a minimum security prison that might allow daily visits to The Cheesecake Factory if you pinky swear to be back for lights out.  Either way, since my cousin isn’t a citizen he was told that upon his release from prison, and once he was off parole he would be deported.  I thought that was fair, I just wish he was deported before he got to prison so we, the taxpayers, wouldn’t have had to feed and house him for all those years.

While updating my Dad on the deportation process for her son my Aunty dearest told my Dad to “watch out because he might get deported too”.  Apparently this stupid bitch is under the impression that the U.S. deports citizens who haven’t committed crimes and who haven’t done anything wrong because they have nothing better to do, and because it is legal to deport citizens of your own country.  I don’t know what bothers me more, that she is trying to scare my Dad with this talk of deportation, thankfully my Dad isn’t a idiot and he told her he wasn’t scared of anything like that, or the fact that I am related to this piece of shit that I must call “Aunt”.

I swear my feelings about her are almost expanding beyond loathing…into the realms of the four-letter word that starts with “h”.

I don’t want to be in the Babysitter’s Club, thanks!

We all have friends who aren’t really friends. They are just kind of acquaintances, but they constantly refer to themselves as your friend and you just don’t have the heart to correct them so you let the lie continue, and like any good lie, it snowballs.  So there you are innocently assuming you can cruise under the radar for the rest of your life, when this so called friend puts your so-called friendship to the test.  This is just what happened to me the other day.

I have this friend from college who not too long ago had a kid.  The kid was with a baby daddy following a short and turbulent marriage, and a bitter separation.  To this day no one is sure if our friend is divorced or still just separated, instead what we do know is that she constantly refers to the baby daddy as her “biblical husband”.  As if this wasn’t enough to cause bulging eyes of horror/don’t let the crazy lady kill me and use my skin as a garment eyes we were treated to the selection process for the baby daddy.

Because our friend has particularly unique coloring she wanted her baby to have to same features.  So the one and only criteria for the father was that he share this same coloring.  THAT WAS THE ONLY CRITERIA.  Needless to say none of us, her “friends”, were shocked when the guy turned out to be crazy.  Soon we were treated to tales of her possibly going on the lam with the kid, and then inexplicably going into hiding and having the kid go into commercials and acting (what?!).  Nothing this girl does ever makes sense.  I really have to wonder if she is mentally well enough to care for a child.

I had mostly put her out of my mind; aside from the long texts she would send updating me on her kid.  The most contact I would have with her would be one of those text messages that show up all out of order and you get text 3 of 10 before your phone has a spasm, seizes up, and then freaks out with a series of vibrations and partial ringtones as 9 more text messages clog your inbox.  First, she presents me with the idea of coming to visit the TV show set while her kid worked and she looked on as his guardian.  Then she slowly twists around her words in the next couple of texts that she would be working too.  Finally, the truth comes out, the kid isn’t working, he needs to have a legal guardian on the set who also isn’t working, so she needs me to be on the set to act as his legal guardian while she is working.  This is how she does things.  She presents you with an idea, and once she has you hooked she starts changing details, seemingly minor details, one after another and before you realize it you have agreed to rob the mint with her or some such nonsense.

Was I asked if I was interested in being the legal guardian of her kid in exchange for getting to visit a TV show set?  NOPE!  Would I be interested in being the legal guardian of my not very good friend’s child while she was working on a TV Show set?  NOPE!  Would missing a day of work in return for the chance to be a gratis babysitter be worth it to me?  NOPE!

Somehow in her attempts to lure me in as a babysitter she never stopped to question if I would be a good guardian.  I wouldn’t let the kid come to harm, but at the same time I have to known to get really absorbed in stuff and forget everything else, plus I had only met her kid once 2 years earlier.  I am would be watching the activities, not making sure her kid stayed safe and out of trouble in the midst of thousands of dollars of TV equipment.   This fall please vote yes on IMMEDIATE AND MANDATORY COMMON SENSE LICENSING FOR ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HAVE KID(S).

Kim Get Your Gun

 

 

Hello readers…okay, basically “readers” translates to personal friends who I have made read my blogs.  Sorry for the long absence from blogging about the crazy Real Housewives lately, but I have been busy at work…which also has a translation, busy at work translates to I was too busy wasting my work life on other websites to bother blogging.  Anyway, that is the truth; I was too lazy to write, so here we go with my first post of the New Year!

 

I watched this episode at a party of children running around and babies screaming and with bitchy surgical residents too haughty to say hello, so I have forgotten lots, or blocked out a lot.  So what will follow is the food coma jumbled version of what I saw!  I also got to watch the HD version of the Real Housewives of Atlanta…so that was nice/scary to see how much makeup they really have on.

 

The first HD scene of the Real Housewives of Anything that I was treated to was of Phaedra/Apollo having dinner with Peter/Cynthia.  Cynthia is better in non-HD.  She looked rough!  In fact I really couldn’t concentrate on anything that was coming out of her mouth…it was just a bunch of blah, blah, blah from the TV while I kept exclaiming to friends…OMG LOOK AT HER IN HD!  So Phaedra brought up the trip to South Arica she was planning and invited Cynthia, and told Cynthia’s to mention it to her only friend Nene.  After having what looked like a decent lunch Cynthia broke the news to Nene who was acting like free trips out of the country get offered to her everyday and was totally not interest.  WTF?!  Nene has been on my nerves since the beginning of this season, she has totally let Celebrity Apprentice go to her head.

 

Moving on to Kim who looks like she has gotten more Botox and facial fillers to the head we get to see Kroy and Kim visiting the gun range to get Kim a gun.  Let me just say Kim did not look fierce, intimidating, or knowledgeable firing a gun.  Nor did she look like a good shot since it seemed like the target was about 5 feet away from her, and yes I think licensing for a handgun is too easy.  Kim seemed more thrilled that she was getting a handgun that was pink, the appreciating the gravity of getting a handgun!  I mean seriously where are the Hello Kitty people?!  Why haven’t they slapped a Hello Kitty on a Glock and sold that crap at your local Sanrio?!  Apparently, color is most important when contemplating firing a deadly weapon.  Sanrio…Hello Kitty…call me, these idea is GOLDEN.  The bullets can be officially licensed Hello Kitty bullets too.  They can be pink and maybe have a scratch and sniff scent on them so the forensics team can use them to ward off the smell of blood at the crime scene.

 

Phaedra and Kim go to an African History museum, and both seem to be more interested in the male parts of a slave than the fact that they were being taped getting too excited and too frisky with a statue for the world to see.  Seriously, did these two crackheads think that they was some sort of sex doll dressed up in a loin cloth that they used for the slave model?  Plus, does Phaedra really, REALLY know the VP of Ghana so well that she can just call him up and say “I am sure you heard about my visit.”  The delusions of grandeur have gotten out of hand I tell you!

 

Were the skirts a mandatory part of the African dance class Kandi and Phaedra went to??!  Phaedra’s sneakers were unspeakably hideous!

 

Nene continues her weird flirtation/business relationship with the dude that keeps buying her expensive shoes.  He has nice taste in shoes, but seriously why does he keep buying her footwear!?!  Does he have a shoe fetish?!  While I was watching the show and Nene rolled into that meeting all over done one of the guys in the room at the party I was at glanced over at the TV and wryly said “wow, she looks so natural, and I bet she is that dressed up and it is like a Tuesday” LOL!   It was hilarious.  Nene did look overdone, out of her element, and didn’t she end up opening up a pizzeria or something in an airport lounge?!  It’s a damn airport fast food joint; you can’t even give patrons real butter knifes!

 

At the dinner/drinks with Mama Joyce, Kim should never have said hi to Nene!  Mama Joyce needed to shut her trap!  Nene started that mess, and I think that she should be made to apologize to Kim before Kim should ever have to even acknowledge her presence!  BOOOO for Mama Joyce!

 

The best line of the season so far, that I can remember, has to be Sheree’s from this episode, in response to Nene not wanting to go to South Africa “…Has Nene ever left the country? Get a stamp in your passport, get some culture!”

 

 

 

 

Rachel Zoe Meets Muppets Meets QVC

I feel like there are a number of “fauxlebrities” I love to hate, almost all of the Real Housewives, and preachy real celebrities, people that write the scripts for entertainment shows…the list goes on.  But of all these fauxlebrities, I think the one that I really detest more than the rest is Rachel Zoe.  I find that there is something entirely off-putting about her.  I don’t know what it is!  I have only ever watched her show, when it was a choice between the Rachel Zoe Project and Fox News, and frankly The Rachel Zoe Project didn’t beat out Fox News by much.  Today as I cruised around YouTube clicking link after link of their suggested videos I found myself watch a video on Rachel Zoe’s QVC collection…and it made me happy.

It made me happy to see Mrs. Snottier-than-thou dresses like homeless person meets couture meets hippie hawking some questionable pieces on QVC.  I don’t know, it just didn’t take a lot to make me happy today and this Rachel Zoe on QVC thing did.  Maybe I am an evil little grinch, but I guess when the paycheck is big enough QVC is nothing to sneeze at.  It was nice to know as high minded and fashionable as Rachel Zoe likes to act, she is not above hawking pieces between 1 – 5 a.m. that should carry a label reading “Muppets were harmed in the creation of this item”.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Bright White & Dark Shadows

The episode to end all episodes, almost. That is the title Bravo should have given this crazy episode. All season long we have seen Taylor swing from happy to frantic, to desperately trying to get Lisa to love her, to freaking out at Camille, and now to this.

The day of the party Adrienne starts the ball rolling by telling Paul that their sue happy “friend” Russell has threatened Camille with litigation via e-mail because of untrue statements she has made with regard to the Armstrong marriage. Everyone is of the opinion that Camille did not speak of turn, that she was simply parroting back to the ladies in general and Taylor in particular what she had been told BY TAYLOR.

Paul and Adrienne who obviously have a lot to lose want no part of this, and friends to let friends sue other friends. With Kyle’s white party looming, and there is no better way to describe since the word sue started being bandied about, the Maloof’s aren’t certain they want to attend and then have to worry about being sued.

In the least dramatic scene of the episode we have Franc the wedding planner bringing in a band to try out for Pandora’s wedding. I thought they sounded great!

Kyle is prepping for her party that goes from a guest list of 300 to 200 in a matter of minutes unaware of the storm brewing on the horizon, while Kim lunches with her daughters. At first I thought Kim was eating with her niece Paris Hilton, because there is a strong resemblance between Kim’s daughter and Paris! Kim advises her daughters to just go with the flow this evening at the party and not show their dislike for Ken if they are feeling it. Kim sagely advises not everyone needs to know how you feel. A refreshed looking Kim should have taken her own advice.

Back at Kyle’s house that is furnished in whites Kyle is prepping for her white party when she gets the call about the dramarama that is brewing. Adrienne advises Kyle about why she and Paul might not be attending the party, they probably consulted their attorneys before attending…lol! Kyle whose hair is getting done is desperately tries to reach Taylor with no luck and soon Kyle pours herself into a too tight white dress and it is SHOW TIME!

Brandi arrives, friend in hand, literally. Soon the rest of the Housewives troop in, Lisa who is already aware of the drama, Camille with D.D., Paul and Adrienne, and Kim and Ken, no one has been able to reach Taylor to talk about the e-mail and tell her she isn’t invited.

As the rest of the party goes on Lisa and Kyle are trying to contact Taylor who is still unreachable on the phone. I am not sure someone has explained the phone making noise indicates a call thing to Taylor. Everyone is in on the “let’s call Taylor” bandwagon. From Adrienne to Kyle to Lisa, they all know Taylor is so desperate for them to like her she wouldn’t sue them this is all Russell’s doing!

Kim who went from looking refreshed while having lunch with her daughters looks like she has hit the bottle hard in the ensuing hours. The rest of the ladies were in gowns, and Kim turns up in what looked like white denim. When she is shown pictures from the photo booth at the party featuring Dana/Pam and Brandi she questions why she was being shown pictures of someone who so obviously doesn’t exist. After sidelong glances in each other’s direction, a courting symbol for most species, a sign of “warning drama headed your way” for the Housewives, Brandi attempts to apologize. Brandi needs to stop apologizing! The sisters Richards need to start doing the apologizing. Kim whose drunken blackouts probably caused her to forget most of that evening starts spouting off about how angelic Kyle and her are, and how kindly they were acting that evening only to attacked by Brandi. Brandi concedes she was part of the problem, but Kim won’t have any of it! Kim sputters on and on about Brandi’s dirty mouth and how it makes her less pretty, and how she had to as Jesus to forgive her for allowing Brandi to bring her down to Brandi’s level. WTF?! Seriously?! Watching this scene unfold it was like looking seeing David and Goliath. Brandi literally towered over a finger-pointing Kim who seemed whacked out.

Brandi wisely realized no one wins when you fight with crazy people and listened to Kim’s crap, which was finally interrupted by a now overwrought Kyle. It was a great thing that Kim decided to follow her own advice to her daughters and not express everything she feels (sarcasm).

Meanwhile, I kept singing that song from Harry Potter, “double, double toil and trouble something wicked this way comes…” while the Armstrong’s with liquor in hand sped towards the party. In the interviews while we see the Armstrong’s in the Limo Taylor admits she did spill the beans on what Camille said during a therapy session with Russell. So after a trip to Vegas which Taylor and Russell left early to attend Kyle’s party, we see the drama unfolding. Dressed in their best whites, and I have to say for the first time ever I thought Taylor did look good, the limo finally pulls up the Kyle’s house the entourage of Housewives (Kyle, Lisa, and Adrienne) and their hubbies (Paul and Mauricio) meet Russell and Taylor.

At first Taylor looks concerned when a visibly upset Kyle tells her there is a problem. Everyone starts talking at once saying that Camille is upset and she is in the house and because of the e-mail that Russell sent and under the advice of her attorneys Camille cannot interact with the Armstrongs! Oh snap! Soon everyone starts talking about not wanting to get sued and Russell interjects with something along the lines of “it was a kind e-mail”. Paul replies with a very matter of fact, “I read it, it wasn’t kind”. Taylor is getting the drift of what is happening here, she is about to be turned away at the door of the party like she was wearing a tie dyed dress at a white party! Kyle is crying more and more and says, asks them to leave, and Mauricio tries to explain because they are married they suffer the consequences of the others actions, and soon Taylor goes into full Taylor mode that is best described as aggressive anger. Taylor says something along the lines of obviously “Camille isn’t that upset if she showed up… and we left Vegas to attend this…and fine we’ll leave and you go enjoy your party”! While Taylor storms back to the limo Kyle runs after her and gets in the Limo to explain further. Russell says that what Camille repeated was a very distorted version of the truth and Taylor totally agrees with Russell’s statement and Adrienne and Kyle say no, no you told all of us that, Camille wasn’t making shit up!

OMG!  Such craziness.  I really don’t like Taylor, and I don’t know much about abusive relationships, but I don’t know that she is telling the truth!  Why would you tell your abuser about what you said to Camille and what she repeated back?  WHY?!!   It just seems like he would get more upset and be MORE abusive as a result.  I just don’t, I really feel like something here isn’t adding up.  Also, why is Taylor now acting like her marriage is this big romance love match.  Just a few months earlier during the first season she talked about their relationship being 80% business and 20% romance.  So now where is all this coming from?!  No one who is in a relationship that they describe as 80% business would allow someone to hit them…at least I don’t think they would.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Don’t Pump & Drive

The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Don’t Pump & Drive

I think for the first time in quite sometime Bravo has been finally able to piece together SOMETHING to compete with Beverly Hills. I know that Atlanta gets better ratings than Beverly Hills, but this is the first episode I wasn’t bored in the middle of…FOR A LONG TIME.

To open the episode, we still have Sheree being delusional thinking that Phaedra was unprepared for her case. I love that Phaedra was so professional about how she communicate with Sheree and how she just excused herself from that mess! That was so great of Phaedra! Plus, Sheree couldn’t pull it together and decide what she wanted to do about Bob, which caused her team to have to play catch up to Bob! Phaedra knows the pawnshop value for a used Birkin of questionable authenticity isn’t good, so I am glad she waited to get her money to file anything!

Is Kim’s 17,000 square foot house “used”? Did she say the interior designer was the previous homeowner? Because I thought Kim wasn’t okay with “used” houses?!

If there was ever an episode that showcased Kandi, this was it! Kandi was hilarious throughout the episode! At “Cynthia’s Event”, in which brightly colored garden statues were for sale and blue was the color of the evening we got to see the debut of Sheree’s fake “HEY” to Phaedra and everyone’s belief that Marlo is high society. If Cynthia is “from NYC” like she is constantly saying, and was so active on the social scene there, why does she mistake someone who has made their money using questionable skills as a “socialite”?! Is that a commentary on Atlanta, Marlo, or Cynthia?! The best comment of the evening was not Nene’s admission is isn’t a collector of art, the best, by far, was Kandi wondering if Marlo didn’t blow through money or blew to get money!

Back in the ghetto, the power couple of Cynthia and Peter are getting ready for a photo shoot! I really, REALLY want to know if these people are at the top of the power movers and shakers scene in Atlanta! First, I have to say Peter doesn’t seem like a nice guy at all. If he is stupid enough to put a white couch in a club, I think you are going to have to realize it is going to get stained, and he seemed to be really angry with that employee about failing to notice it. She probably noticed it and thought, you are the delusional one, so you clean it! Second, is Peter acting like Cynthia’s husband or like her parent? I mean she is twelve shades of stupid for not sending out the cards on time and not realizing how the mail actually works, but why is Peter trying to teach her a lesson about it?

Kim is moving out of her townhouse, and her furniture looks like someone has a real fetish with knock-offs from Windsor palace or something. Ick. Is that stuff really from Neiman Marcus? In the longest most boring retrospective to fill time Bravo made us suffer through happy moments in the Zolciak casa, whatever, moving on.

Nene then has a very boring, and very gross talk with her Bryson about “if you like you better put a condom on it” which was more than a little cringe worthy!

Don Juan, Kandi’s partner is tired of producing music for Kandi’s “mom and pop shop” friends! LOL! In other words he wants to get paid for the music they are putting together!

Back at the new Casa Zolciak, the family has arrived and is moving it. The house has a lot of black and gold it looked like, so Scarface would feel at home, and Kim’s refined taste can have a chaise to snuggle on. Kim blathers on about her “dream house” and I kept thinking “Barbie’s Dreamhouse, Barbie’s Dreamhouse”! Kroy looks on not able to say much at the overly fussy decorated house. I think Kroy couldn’t say much because as he looked on at thousands of dollars of crap, he could hear the sound of the bankruptcy court gavel pounding in his head. Before we live Kim’s land of delusion we get to see a charming clip of her driving while apparently asking her daughter to steer the car while she pumps her breast. Can you imagine explaining to the cops if you hit someone because you weren’t paying attention while driving because you were also pumping breast milk?!

Kandi’s acquaintance Lil Ronnie is cute…I hope they work together more…KANDI + LIL RONNIE!!!!!

We find Cynthia in the makeup/hair chair again getting her hair done where is falling apart crying over nothing, and then about a broken CD player, while a questioning Malorie looked on. Why doesn’t the AC work at Cynthia or Peter’s event? Arriving late to her own party we are graced with another shot of Cynthia with her afro and other pictures around the Bailey agency while the ladies arrive.

Phaedra said it right when she said, that girls are going to come there get self-esteem and then go be doctors or lawyers where there is guaranteed money! LOL! Marlo was dropping the labels of her designer duds. .

Nene declared she used to be a model, this is like the “I’m rich” statement, delusional. We have seen pictures from before she was on RHOA and with her real nose. I don’t think so. Kandi rationalized it by saying “…she’s tall…?”

What was billed as the big drama for the evening, Kim and Nene being in the same room, didn’t pan out into anything. Kim stuck by Kroy and kept giving Marlo the evil eye when she kept mentioning “big poppas” aka sugar daddies, when Kandi tried to clear up about the “how did you get your money question from the Kandi Koated Nights” interview. Marlo on the offensive, and talking in a voice that seemed unlike her own threw back that she’s heard that Kandi is a sugar momma! Then in a turn of events unlike those ever seen on any of the Real Housewives franchises, Kandi remains calm! There was no bottle breaking and threats of slitting someone’s throat or assaulting someone with a shoe!

As we closed the episode Cynthia thanks her husband for his support, but he is nowhere to be found. Looking on as Cynthia is increasing embarrassed by the missing Peter, Phaedra leans back and tells Apollo “I love you”. Apollo looks disinterested and like he said something along the lines of “uh huh, or I know”. I have said before, and I will say it again, I think this marriage is about to IMPLODE.

Fruit, How Do You Cut It?!

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