Abnormally Stupid Activity in Paranormal Activity

I finally did it!  I finally saw Paranormal Activity in its entirety!  Now, comes my thoughts, years too late, and as Paranormal Activity 2 is getting released…WHAT A STUPID MOVIE!!!!  AHHHH!!!  I mean it seemed stupid from the scenes I had caught here and there at friend’s houses but, having sat down and watched the entire movie…WTF?!  That movie makes it up there with The Happening, I just want to write to the director and ask for an hour and a half of my life back!  Okay, so the movie was definitely suspenseful, but the lack of logic used by Katie and Micah makes me very unsympathetic when it comes to their ultimate fate.

I am not obsessed with thinking about God and religion, although my previous posts might lead one to think I am, but I am really not, that being said here goes another “God reference”…WHY IN HELL DID NO ONE CALL SOME SORT OF PRIEST?!!!  If I was being followed by what I thought was an evil spirit not for days, weeks, months, or even years, but DECADES, I would have either taken up a full time residence in a church or married a religious leader of some sort.  Shoot, I don’t even care if it is one of those people that founded their religion on the internet for tax purposes, he’d be my man!  What I unequivocally WOULD NOT DO would be to let my douchebag of a boyfriend say “I am going to handle this” while creeped out things keep happening to me!  I am sorry, maybe this makes me an emasculating bitch, but oh well, if this keeps me away from being stalked by a demon, I am calling the damn priest, imam, rabbi, reverend, monk, sister, rector, vicar, holy person, basically anyone that has spent some time studying about these things, and would feel an obligation to help me, well I am calling them.  Oh yeah, an I am pretty sure not every religious leader in the greater San Diego metropolitan area went out of town, so at least there would have been one on hand to help immediately as opposed to waiting for the stupid “demonologist” to come back to town and ride in on a white horse.

Why in the world would you call a psychic or whoever that guy was, listen to him say “there is something evil here, and this thing is out for you” and then let your boyfriend the “day trader” that never seemed to be “day trading” try to “handle” it with a video camera, baby powder, and taunts?!  It’s like Katie never saw ANY horror movie ever made, and certainly not Exorcist!  What in the world?!  You know all those ‘help with your relationship articles and books out there’ they need to have their advice footnoted with the footnote reading:

“If you are being possessed, hunted, haunted, stalked, earmarked, etc. by what you feel is a demon, evil spirit, bad energy, etc. it is not only permissible, but completely and totally okay for you not to listen to bad advice from your boyfriend, fiancé, husband, life partner when he says he can handle it if he has no experience “handling” evil entities.  To rely on his skills at that point would be the height of stupidity.”

Another problem is why didn’t stupid Katie have any “real” friends.  I mean I have people in my life, we all do, that don’t really speak their mind, but if I had a friend who wasn’t immediately trying to drag my ass to a church/synagogue/temple etc. when I mentioned I was being stalked by a demon, I would really have to re-examine our friendship.  I mean really Katie didn’t have one friend over the course of her entire life that heard this demon following her story who spoke up?!  Katie didn’t have one friend who was willing to channel her inner Whoopi Goldberg as Oda Mae Brown in Ghost and say “KATIE, YOU IN DANGER GIRL!”  Really not one friend?!

Next, logically if you believe in demons, which obviously at least Katie did, wouldn’t the next logical step be to believe in God.  I mean you don’t even have to believe in God, if that isn’t your cup of tea, the universe is all about balance, and so if you believe in one thing, the dark side of things, then LOGICALLY there should be a light side of things, a yin to the yang so to speak.  So Katie, dodo head that she was, believed she was being haunted and followed around for DECADES, yes DECADES and still did not get in touch with her religious side, what a crock of shit.

All this being said, Katie and Micah’s stupidity aside, how in the world was Katie in a relationship with a man whose name she did not know how to pronounce?!  I have never heard the name Micah pronounced “Meeka”, I thought he had some sort of really cool new agey sort of name until I looked up the movie details online and realized his name was MICAH.  Is pronouncing Micah as Meeka a San Diego thing?!

So, all said and done, Paranormal Activity, for its lack of logic, common sense, and wanton misuse of the name Micah, is one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen, HANDS DOWN…!


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