That’s it! I am starting a fan page, or fan pages on Facebook…yup…they are going to center around the following topics. Please note, these are all topics that I personally feel need to be addressed on Facebook:
Facebook Fan Page #1: “STOP ASKING ME TO FAN PAGES THAT STATE… “IF YOU LOVE JESUS DO XYZ” – This is the Facebook version of, of the e-mail version, of the snail mail version of the chain letter that said send this to 20 friends or something calamitous will happen to you on Tuesday. On a side note, the more you ask if I loved Jesus, the more I want to say “NO”! And, well, life just isn’t certain enough for me to make pronouncements like that, so stop asking!!!!
Facebook Fan Page #2: “PHOTOGRAPHY REQUIRES SKILL NOT ONLY A DIGITAL CAMERA” – why, oh why is there a sudden profusion of wannabe Photographers on everyone’s Facebook page?! I saw some pictures taken by a “Facebook Photographer” whose “thing” it was to cut off all or part of the person’s head in a photograph. Thankfully she was only a guest at the wedding I saw her photos from, can you imagine how pissed you would be if you got your wedding photos back and you and your spouse looked like some sort of weird misguided Tim Burton-esque attempt at wedding photography?! Digital filters and 8GB memory card do not make a photographer!
Facebook Fan Page #3: “NOT EVERYONE GETS TO GROW UP TO BE A MODEL” – this is the photography problem all over again…the proliferation of would-be models due to Facebook is out of hand!
Facebook Fan Page #4: “I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, STOP ASKING” – This inability to understand that we are not friends is the very reason I dislike you.
Facebook Fan Page #5: “DON’T BE SLOW” – If you go back and forth with a guy/gal/whatever your preference is with 30+ comments a day and post pictures with them, and then post places you went to eat on Facebook via Yelp…people are going to think there is something going on. Please don’t act like this belief is totally crazy, people are invading your privacy, or you don’t even know why people would even think such a foolish thing. It’s just annoying.
Okay….mini-rant over…it just needs to be said. Of course, to create these pages I am going to have to ask one of those annoying “if you love Jesus – photographer – model – non-friend – slow on the uptake” people to help me, what a Catch 22!