Archive for November, 2010

The Great Italian Soda Overcharge

There are many things I hate in this world, but there are few things I love more than an Italian Soda with cream! The first time I ever ran into this delightful combination of syrup, club soda, and half and half was in 10th grade at this farewell dinner for 10th graders at my school, and it was amazing. A friend told me to order it, and the rest as they say, is history. The friendship totally became a bygone of highschool, but my love of Italian Sodas continues!

Of course the sucky thing about Italian Sodas, well any beverage really, is that they are overpriced. You can’t help but think how cheap it is to make the concoction versus how much you are paying for it…well, that is until I discovered Barnes & Noble Café. At the Barnes & Noble Café, which proudly serves Starbucks Coffee, you can get an Italian Soda, a large Italian soda for the bargain price of $2.15! I was over the moon, that is such a steal…I mean at $2.15 for a large that is cheaper than 10th grade prices! ☺

Even though this is a great deal, there is one small wrench in the Italian Soda works at the Barnes & Noble Café. When I ordered a week ago the price came to $2.65 plus tax. Before my brain clued in about this price difference between $2.15 and $2.65 I had swiped my card, had my drink in my hand, and all the 100% cane sugar from the Italian Soda syrup was rushing to my brain and I couldn’t think…sad, just sad. Glancing at my receipt later on I noticed something about “Breve” on it, I had no idea what that meant! I don’t speak fake pretentious coffeehouse Italian, and whatever Breve was it cost $0.50. The 100% cane sugar high had worn off and I was now suspicious about this mysterious Breve.

On my return trip to Barnes & Noble this weekend I ordered my usual, when they asked me if I wanted cream in it (as if that should even be a question!) when I said “Yes!” my brain went back to the Breve line on my old receipt, so I had to ask the question I hate asking sales associates “do I have to pay extra for the half and half in my Italian Soda?” Of course the answer was yes. But, to make this whole $0.50 cent charge, i.e., 23% of the cost of the drink (yes I did the math), even more ludicrous the Barista was willing to put whip cream, which I did not want on the Italian Soda for free, but not substitute half and half for whip cream for free.

It is just these sort of nonsensical up selling tactics from huge companies that really annoy me. I really hate to be that person that who examines my receipt and points out stuff that doesn’t make sense, mostly because I always think people are looking at me and thinking, “hey that person is super cheap!” But I hate being charged for nonsense! I really, REALLY, hate it! This $0.50, 23% of the cost of the drink charge, really makes no sense because THERE IS AN ENTIRE CARAFE OF HALF AND HALF sitting there on the little counter near the sugar and IT’S FREE FOR ANYONE TO USE! THERE IS A CARAFE OF FREE HALF AND FUC&#@%HALF!

Now that my psychotic break is over. I just don’t know which pisses me off more, the fact that I can get whip cream in my drink for free and not half and half, or the fact that there is two liters of half and half sitting in carafe free to any Café patron, and they want to charge me $0.50 for it. This is the equivalent of Spirit Airlines selling you an airline ticket for like $10, but oh by the way you have to pay an additional $20+ for a seat on the plane! This charge would only make sense if they allowed you to stand the entire flight.

My thoughts on this Breve situation keep wavering in between, “stop being cheap the Barista is just doing their job, accept it and move on” and “WTF, I am not making any donations to Barnes & Noble for absolutely no apparent reason!”. Either way there is just something in me that rebels at the idea of paying that $0.50. It’s probably my middle class upbringing, you know the fact that I never owned a piece of clothing, before I started buying them for myself, that wasn’t 50% off the ticketed price, but something in me just balks at this blatant overcharging.

What it boils down to in the end is, that either way, I have to be in a wedding to be in like 6 months, I shouldn’t be drinking any sort of Italian Soda with or without cream. However, as long as I am destroying my diet I ought to do it in as fiscally responsible a manner as possible! ☺

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Deep Thoughts of Turkey Deep Frying Oil

The countdown has begun to that marathon of cooking, Thanksgiving! YAY! I love Thanksgiving as long as no one asks me “so what are you thankful for this year?!” I really hate when people ask that question. I don’t know why it just bugs me! But my issues aside, this is the time of the year that Turkey Deep Fryers show up in the stores, and where there are Turkey Deep Fryers there is Turkey Deep Frying Oil! Yup, it comes in a big box (see picture below) and has a picture of dead golden turkey on it! What makes the Turkey Deep Frying Oil better is the great health and cooking info they give you on the box:

“Great for deep frying turkey, fish, vegetables and more!”
“No Cholesterol – A Natural Source of Vitamin E”
“Zero Grams Trans Fat Per Serving”
“Can Be Re-Used”

Muy Excellente!  Just when you thought eating a deep fried turkey might not be healthy, you find out that the oil it marinates in is a great natural source of Vitamin E! LOVES IT!

Reading all this helpful Turkey Deep Frying info leads me to wonder, what would happen if in some imaginary world there is “trash talking” and “hazing” amongst different cooking oils?!  In my head the trash talking goes something like this:

EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil): EVOO is the cool kid in school, probably the quarterback of the football team who is also super smart, and rich.  Basically EVOO is the Jake Ryan of his school!

Turkey Deep Frying Oil: Is the smelly kid in school who wears really weird clothes, and was voted most likely to have a armed standoff ending with the FBI surrounding his “compound” (fancy word for tool shed) somewhere in the wilds of Idaho.

Sadly, Turkey Deep Frying Oil is just trying to get through school without too many people even noticing him, he is hoping his “duck and cover” will get him through school.  But EVOO is totally being an ass and making fun of Turkey Deep Frying Oil!  EVOO is like “dude, you are so pathetic, you are like the Franzia of cooking oils! I called my cousin, a French Bordeaux, and he told me all about you trashy cardboard types” all said in a snotty Italian accent. EVOO probably goes onto say “I am so cool, everyone loves me and wants me, I am like a fine wine aged for fifty years, and you are Franzia’s cousin! Even your PACKAGING is the same…ewww…how embarrassing! Who would want to be packed in a cardboard box when you could come in a glass bottle?” In response I am sure the Turkey Deep Frying Oil runs off and cries in a corner, cause who can argue with the popular kid, EVOO?!

Franzia's Cousin, Also From the Wrong Side of the Tracks

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Articles on Makeup, The Kind you Wear, Not Making up…:)

I LOVE reading articles online. One of the worst fakeouts online is when you click on a link that you think is for an article and it takes you to a stupid video clip! It is just maddening! I also LOVE makeup. So when I come across articles online with titles like “What Do Our Makeup Artists Have in Their Makeup Drawers?” or “Five Must Have Makeup Products for The Holidays”, I am so in! That article is a guaranteed CLICK. However, what inexplicably bothers me are articles like the most recent makeup article I read on AOL.com about the shelf life of Makeup.

The title, Makeup Shelf Life 101: When To Toss Your Cosmetics, is a great little article about how long you should keep your makeup before sending it to that big makeup drawer in the sky, or that big makeup drawer in the landfill, take your pick. So here are the factoids:

Mascara – Replace every 3 months
Eye Shadow – Replace every 3 months
Lipstick – Replace every 1-year
Foundation – Replace every 6-12 months
Blush – Up to 2 years
Natural Makeup (what is that?) – 6 months

So basically harmful germs build up in your makeup, so if you are keeping longer than recommended length of time, you could get sick, sick, sick, or lose an eye, or I don’t know, break out. The information isn’t really bad information, but I am sorry, I hate to say it, it’s not practical advice! Who uses enough makeup in a 3 month – 2 year timeframe to buy/throw out makeup at the rate they suggest?! Alright, if you are on any of the “Real Housewives of ‘Anywhere’” you probably do go through enough makeup to adhere to this timeframe. Seriously, Teresa from NJ and Phaedra and Kim from ATL, WTF, step AWAY from the makeup, chicas! Who can afford to adhere to this advice, and not be millions of dollars in debt (big ha, ha, ha at Teresa)?!

I wear makeup almost everyday, and I am totally boring, so I wear the same neutral eye shadow EVERY WORK DAY, 5 days a week, and still I couldn’t make it through an entire eye shadow pat in three months. Plus, I have big eyelids!! LOL! The only mascara I can make it through in three months are those little sample size mascara tubes that you get as testers or as part of the “bonus gift”, and as for blush, forget it! Even with a 2-year time limit, I can’t make it through the entire compact in 2 years; I don’t wear the same blush season-to-season. I don’t know, maybe this makes me a super dirty germ infested person, but I just can’t make it through my makeup that fast, and I can’t throw it out either, I paid WAY TOO MUCH FOR IT. Even if I were to give up my MAC/Smashbox addiction and trade it in for a Wet & Wild addiction makeup purchased and thrown away at the suggest rate would still probably get spendy!! Unfortunately my last name isn’t Lauder or Factor, I simply can’t afford it! So if makeup companies really cared about us, and about our safety, which let’s be real they don’t, they would do something to make these timeframes possible to adhere too.

I think the simple solution would be to make smaller sizes of eye shadows, blushes, mascaras, lipsticks, foundations, etc, and have them priced SENSIBLY. Don’t just create an eye shadow that is half the size of the current eye shadow pat and charge fifty cents less than the full size! Or make some sort of self-cleaning makeup, I mean it will probably cause cancer, like everything seems to, but that isn’t stopping the food industry from using suspicious ingredients! But, don’t hold your breath, it’s not going to happen. Cosmetic companies are going to continue to sell us a 3 year supply of eye shadow for $15, then hire people to write articles that give you a crash course in makeup throw out timeframes. Then as part of their evil plan they will “publish” the articles in places like AOL SHOPPING, yeah, the article I read, Makeup Shelf Life 101: When To Toss Your Cosmetics, is on AOL SHOPPING. When you realize where the article is “published it’s hard not to think, they just want meto ditch my makeup to go buy more makeup via the helpful links they provide, which they get compensated for. Hand meet cookie jar.

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Thoughts On Life While On a Treadmill

Walking on a treadmill at the gym yesterday this old En Vogue song, Don’t Let Go, started playing on my iPod.   Usually I just skip over the song, it’s just too slow to be a good treadmill song, but yesterday I actually listened to the words. One line in particular is what caught my attention, the line went something like this:

“If I could wear your clothes, I’d pretend I was you.”

Which, I guess, in a slow supposedly romantical song is kinda sweet, but the more you think about it, how okay you are with that line is really all based on your point of view, your perspective.

If you were to read:

“If I could wear your clothes, I’d pretend I was you.”

In a police report, for example, written after your friendly stalker was arrested right before they took it to the next level, it takes on a whole new meaning.

Life, it seems, is all about perspectives and point of views. Here’s to hoping you get the En Vogue perspective! 🙂

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Party Like It’s My B’day…

…Because it is!!! Happy b’day to me!!!!!

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